Today was the first day I had ever cried because of something so beautiful. It was the first time I had cried without being sad. I went running on this path behind my apartment, up near a Cemetery on a Hill overlooking a stretch of the Mediterranean. And behind me were Mountains. Not many, not big. But I was alone. And it was Sunny. So Sunny. And the Water was Blue. So Blue. And a song came on my iPod and I stopped running. I stopped running and I started feeling. I started feeling and I paused. Maybe it was the Sun or the Endorphins or the fact that I have been alone for the past Four Days, or maybe it was everything and nothing all at once. I just started crying. In the middle of the street. I was standing btwn Mountains and the Mediterranean and an old Abandoned House. The street was blocked off and I knew if I stayed exactly where I was, no one would ever find me. At first I was surprised at how quickly the tears came. I tried to be sad. I tried to think of sad things. I tried to make myself feel upset. It's normal to cry when you're sad. But I wasn't sad. I was beautiful. Everything around me was beautiful. And everything I kept thinking about was beautiful. The beauty overcame me; I was overcome by it. And maybe being sensitive to life only means your feelings are that much stronger. You are happier; you are sadder. You receive so much more out of life because you are one of few who gives life everything you have. You give it all to get it all. And it's real and so are you.

Everybody was back in the house and I was all alone at the beach with this freaky guy, asking me weird questions. He's like, "Wow you have an accent, where you from?" And I said France. Ahh, France. Oh France. "Where is that?" Boy, I couldn't believe it. He started touching me and caressing me, asking me more questions about France. "Do they have hot water in France?" "Do you guys dance in France?" And I was like boy. This, this feels all right. Et j'étais paralysée, completement paralysé. Est-ce qu'ils dansent en france? Pourquoi pas la bas? Mais qu'est ce qui s'est passé ici? J'ai envie de faire pipi. Je ne sais pas pourquoi. I like to dance this way. I like to dance this way. Je suis fou de toi. Je veux t'embrasser. Je ne sais pas pourquoi. Je ne sais pas pourquoi. I like to dance this way. First and Last position. Pied gauche monté. La bouche serrée. Le coude plié. Le doigt pointé. C'est comme ça qu'ils dansent en France. On le fait comme ça ici. Don't you wanna come with me? I like to dance this way. This way for you.

Sueño Es Destino: Dream Is Destiny (Richard Linklater)

La razón por la que rechazo tomar el Existencialismo como una moda Francesa más o una curiosidad histórica es porque creo que tiene algo importante que ofrecemos en este nuevo siglo. Siento miedo pensando que estamos perdiendo la verdadera virtud de vivir la vida apasionadamente, el sentido de la responsabilidad de quienes somos, la habilidad de hacer algo con nuestra vida y de amar la vida. El Existencialismo se suele tomar como una filosofía de desesperación. Pero verdaderamente pienso que es justamente lo contrario. Sartre dijo una vez que él nunca se había sentido desesperado ni un solo día en su vida. Pero algo aprendemos leyendo a estos hombres no es un sentimiento de angustia sobre la vida sino una especie real de exuberancia de sentimos en la punta de ella. Es como si tu vida fuera tuya para crearía. Cuanto más hablas de una persona como una construcción social o una convergencia de fuerzas, o como una fragmentación o marginalización, lo que haces es abrir un enorme nuevo mundo de excusas. Y cuando Sartre habla de responsabilidad, no está hablando de algo abstracto. No habla del tipo de yo o de alma de la que discuten los teólogos, es algo muy concreto. Somos tú y yo hablando, tomando decisiones. Haciendo cosas y aceptando las consecuencias. Puede ser verdad que hay seis mil milliones de personas en el mundo y sigue creciendo. Sin embargo, lo que tú haces marca la diferencia. Marca una diferencia, primero de todo, en términos materiales. Marca una diferencia en otras personas y da un ejemplo. Resumiendo, yo creo que el mensaje aquí es, es que nunca debemos simplemente dejamos llevar y vemos a nosotros mismos como víctimas de varias fuerzas. Nosotros mismos decidimos quiénes somos, la belleza de la vida. La vida, la vida...

The days are shorter now (especially with the "Spring Forward" Time Change), and I'm starting to lose control of the (more or less) Eight Weeks I have left in Spain. The School Days are getting briefer, the Showers longer, the Bus Rides easier, the Language more fluid, the Awkwardness less noticeable, the Friendships more meaningful and the Hardships more transitional. I've been reading a lot of Esquire. I've been reading a lot of everything. I'll take a break from reading something, to read another something and go back to reading an article (or two) online. I'm still writing (although maybe not Publicly), I'm still speaking Spanish (although maybe not out of desire), I'm still having fun (although maybe not every day), I'm still traveling (although maybe on a budget) and I'm still taking pictures (well, although maybe only Film). I tend to take more mental pictures these days.


Being 24 already feels good (I'm a March 25 girl), and for some reason I feel like a Disney Princess. Cinderella was definitely 24. I'm happy that I'm old enough to be an adult and young enough to be a child. I'm happy that I'm smart enough to know the difference. I'm still trying to cook properly and eat properly, however the running always seems to help. Right now I feel very at peace. I think my dirtiest vice is Milk. The weather's improving and the night temperatures are getting more pleasant. It's beginning to smell like Summer and I'm starting to crave Barbecues and Fireplaces, but I know that Spain brings a different kind of living and soon all of it, sadly will disappear.

I went to Granada over a month ago, and stumbled upon this fabulous Music Store. They have Old Stuff, New Stuff, Vinyl Stuff (even an online Radio Station Stuff). I fell in love. It was tiny and the relationship didn't last (long distance is hard), but I will never forget how quickly my heart sank.


Since then, I've been listening to Whole Albums & Ethereal Soundtracks that mainly combine house-beats, cosmic swirls, computer sounds, earth bound humor and the occasional background with what seems to be a drugged out, high-pitched "singing" female. Basically it's music with just a lot of unnecessary noise and weird shit. But I'm a fan. Feel free to sample most via iTunes, as some songs can be rather lengthy. Happy Listening!

"Paradise Circus" - Massive Attack
"Hot Boxing The Cockpit" - Shlohmo
"Inferno Jack" - Butane
"Stereo Love" - Edward Maya Ft. Vika Jigulina
"Quakes" - Flying Lotus
"Odessa" - Caribou
"Geothermal" - Radian
"Morena, My Love" - Tom Boxer Ft. Antonia

Breakfast, simply is the best part of the day. I have zero tolerance for people who sleep in late. It's unattractive. Because really, waking life is meant to be awake. It's yours to create. The mornings are quiet, quaint and 94% of your day is still accessible. Maybe I'm not capable of sleeping in past 8:30 AM ever, even on days where I drizzle off close to 4 AM. However, if the whole world is still dream-walking through their sleeping life, it leaves the rest of us wake-walking through our dreaming life. Meet Jen. She loves food, photos, traveling and Breakfast. Through her Blog: Simply Breakfast (think 3191 food only) we travel to a world where a view across the Sea of Cortez meets backyard porches meets an invitation to a Bathtub. On the March Menu? Sauteed Vegetables scrambled with Tofu plus steamy Hot Coffee. Check!